And you can search for what to say...

[This is the first of two posts that center around my recent vocational discernment. For part two, check here!]


Back in November, I started a blog post and never finished it. Here it is, in all its glory:

And that's as far as I got.

This was on November 18th, 2010. Two months and twenty-seven days ago. It wasn't the first time I felt that way, and it was far from the last. I was in the midst of an identity crisis (no, really), and it was terrifying. The post I started on that day has evolved a bit, and now has an ending that I truly could not have imagined just a few months ago.

I've found that every academic year carries a theme for me. Often, it stems from something that I've been thinking about on my own, but then pops up frequently in class, or becomes the subject of Refectory conversation. I've found that I can't force a theme, or every mention of it will feel artificial. When it naturally emerges, it's a welcome surprise and a constant reminder to listen to God's voice.

The theme that emerged around the beginning of this year was whether or not God can call us to more than one thing. It came up nominally in class, but predominantly in my personal life. That aforementioned identity crisis revolved around whether or not I was following God's call to be an Associate in Ministry, or if I was ignoring God's call to be an ordained pastor.

I spent a good bit of time, that week in mid-November, in an office in the North Wing of our academic building. One of the people I trust the most guided me through the painful process of looking inward and asking myself if I was being truly faithful to who God is calling me to be. I felt hopeless and, for the first time in my life, completely unsure of where I was going next.

I thought about going on internship. About taking a year to spend more time discerning. I thought about just switching to another program, as if it were a safety net, just in case it's what I was supposed to be doing. But I kept coming back to this program, to this roster, and it felt like home.

In the end (with the surprising help of TinkerBell, which is another blog post entirely), I discerned that I am doing what God has called me to do. Had I switched to another program or another roster, I still think I would be doing what God has called me to do. Because I really, truly believe that God can call us to more than one thing. I believe that God gives us a host of gifts that can be used in different ways, and it is simply a matter of being faithful in the moment. And being faithful in that moment, for me, meant pursuing a call to congregational youth and young adult ministry.

Well, that's what I thought at the end of November.

I pushed through the rest of the semester, and wound up with an interview at the end of December, thanks to a dear friend's recommendation. It was perfect. The congregation is exactly the kind I've dreamed of working in for years. The pastor and I got along quite nicely, and I think we would work well together in ministry. They want to get creative with young adult ministry. Like I said: perfect.

Leaving the interview, I told myself not to get too attached. I wasn't sure if they would be able to wait until May for a youth worker, and even if they were, another candidate might be a much better fit for the position. No expectations, no crushed dreams. Simple. But deep down, I felt like that job, that congregation, that call, was home. I was absolutely convinced that was where I would be post-graduation.

And, well, that was at the end of December.

Haiti

So, unless you live under a rock, you have probably heard about the earthquake in Haiti. This is incredibly, incredibly devastating. Haiti is one of the poorest countries in the world, and nothing in that country was prepared to stand against a 7.0 magnitude earthquake. They are still experiencing aftershocks, and it is difficult to assess the full extent of the damages there at the moment.

I'm writing this as a plea: please pray or think or channel good thoughts, whatever you think works, for Haiti. I was talking with someone who went to Haiti on a mission trip a few years ago, and he said that their houses and buildings there are always a work in progress, they are always building additions onto the small structures they have. When the earthquake hit, it was like knocking over a house of cards because of the unstable nature of the structures. Everything there is devastated. Their capital city is flattened. Think about how America felt when Katrina ripped through the Gulf Coast, and then imagine an entire country that lives on $2 a day trying to recover from similar destruction. It's practically incomprehensible.

As Lutheran World Relief said today, "Due to the severity of the situation in Haiti, donations are the most important thing right now---Rescue then Rebuild." I'd ask you to consider donating money to an organization that will put 100% of your donation to good use in the relief effort. There are several well-known organizations that have already mobilized efforts in Haiti, but they could always use more money to send bottled water, water purification tablets, blankets, clothes, food and other various necessities. I've listed some organizations below that have great reputations and will definitely put the money to good use.

On that note, PLEASE be wary of requests for donations that seem at all like a scam. Go directly through an organization's website; some scams say that they will double your donation if you make it through their website, but in reality, they are pocketing your money, and it will not go to Haiti. Be aware of email scams, or requests for direct transfers of money. It is awful that some will use this tragedy to profit personally, but it does happen.

Thank you for your prayers and for your donations. I do not personally know anyone who was in Haiti at the time of the earthquake, but there was a group from Wartburg Seminary (another ELCA seminary) doing mission work there for J-Term. Yesterday, we were told that they were all safe, but today, we received notification that two members of the group got out of the building they were in when the earthquake hit, and they were able to find one another, but the third member of their party is missing. This student, Ben Larson, is a senior at Wartburg; ready to graduate and become an ordained pastor in the ELCA, as far as I know. The two people with him were Renee Larson, his wife, and Jonathan Larson, his cousin. Those of us at ELCA seminaries are mourning the loss of this student; the president of Wartburg, Duane Larson (no relation), said this about Ben:

Ben's baptismal light burned so brightly in our community and for all who came to know him. We grieve the loss of so clear a proclamation, with eyes twinkling, of Christ's love, compassion, and humor. source

It seems to be a reminder that natural disasters do not discriminate. And for as much as we mourn the loss of the relatively few foreign civilians and military who have been killed, we must remember how devastated the people of Haiti are at this time. Prayers are abounding for them, and we pray for increased resources to help those who survived.

Credible Organizations

• Lutheran World Relief- This is the organization through which I personally donated. It is Baltimore-based, and I know that they are excellent stewards of their donations. If you click on the link provided, it will take you directly to the Haiti page of their site, where you can click "Click Here to Contribute NOW." On the donation page, you can donate any amount, but make sure you select "Haiti Earthquake" in the dropdown menu. You will receive a confirmation email after donating, which can be used for tax purposes. Just as a side note, LWR has committed an initial $1,000,000.00 to relief in Haiti.
  
• The American Red Cross- Always reliable. If you click on the red "DONATE NOW" button on their home page, you can select the Haiti Earthquake as your chosen cause. You can also text the word "HAITI" to 90999 to automatically donate $10 (it will appear on your cell phone bill). THIS IS NOT A SCAM. The Red Cross has this information on their website, and they have received over $3 million in donations as of this morning with this method.
• Planting Peace- This organization has been endorsed by Rainn Wilson, better known as Dwight on The Office. He has done work in Haiti, in schools and orphanages, and he knows this to be a reliable source. As an incentive, he is offering a personally signed 8x10 headshot to anyone who donates $100 or more. Check out his twitter account (@rainnwilson) for more details.
• Artists for Peace and Justice- Another great charity that is supported by several celebrities: James Franco, Charlize Theron and Olivia Wilde, to name a few. Their "DONATE NOW" button is on the bottom right of the page.

If you have any other charities you recommend, please post them in a comment and I will try to add them to the list. Also, feel free to use any part of this post to get the word out to YOUR followers about the importance of helping Haiti.