Dear Verizon, fire your marketing team

This past week, I've been in DC during the day for a class. This means that I woke up every day at 4:45, left the house by 5:40, arrived at the train station at 6:00, stood in the dark and cold until the train came at 6:10, slept the whole way to DC, took a bus from Union Station to Mount Vernon Square, went to Starbucks, had class from 9:00-4:00, took a bus from Mount Vernon Square to Union Station, ran to try and catch the 4:24 train (I made it on Monday, Wednesday and Friday, but Tuesday and Thursday found me on the 5:20), read The Time-Traveler's Wife (go buy that and read it right now) until arriving back at the train station around 5:30, then driving home and walking in the door around 6:00. So I have been understandably exhausted. But I was alert enough to notice something while taking the Circulator back to Union Station. It was a billboard that looked just like this one:

Now, because of the building where this ad is located, you can't really see the bottom right corner from the street, because it is angled. But every day, when we passed this billboard, I couldn't help but wonder, "Why is Verizon equating their phones with buckets of angry female deer?"

Albeit, I haven't been watching as much television (or when I do, it's usually taped, so I fast forward through commercials), so I haven't seen the Droid commercials. Had I been paying more attention, I would have seen that Verizon means that it is a bucket of third-person-singular-present-indicative "do." But let's take a second to think about this, Verizon. What do buckets contain? Matter. Actual physical matter. Buckets do not contain verbs, so I would venture to guess that most people are going to think of angry female deer when they see this ad. And then the ad doesn't make sense to them, and they have little desire to buy your product. And then Apple goes and makes straightforward ads, and, well...we know who emerges victorious. Just saying.

Anyway, this billboard really bothered me, and I know I have a few editors (or at least word-conscious folks) who read this blog, so I figured you would appreciate it. If you see this billboard, just picture a bucket of raging mothers of Bambi, and it will give you a good giggle.

*And just a side note, I really, inexplicably hate the word "bucket;" you know I'm dedicated to this post, because I think I used it five times, including in this side note. And you all think I don't love you.

1 comment:

  1. Bahahahaha. I laughed out loud through this entire thing. Favorite line? "...I would have seen that Verizon means that it is a bucket of third-person-singular-present-indicative 'do.'"

    And this is why you're my best friend.